Category Archives: Observations

Myths – True or False?

I was watching Inside Edition on TV last week and they were debunking some popular myths–a few conclusions I agreed with, others I did not.

Here’s one I never had heard before. Drinking caffeine will stunt your growth. I was always told smoking cigarettes would do that. Turns out neither is true.

Put ice on a burn. I’ve done this plenty of times, however, ice held on the skin too long can actually make the burn worse. Instead, it’s recommended that you hold the affected area under cold water for ten or fifteen minutes.

And a favorite of mine–chocolate will give you acne. The official finding says False. But I’m living proof that this is absolutely True. If I eat too much chocolate, by too much I mean three or more pieces, (caramels are my favorite) a large zit or two will erupt the very next day. Not acne, but unmistakable lumps that hang around for a couple of days.

The program didn’t mention whether drafts will give you a cold or, for that matter, if going outside on a cold day with wet hair might do the same. They’d probably deem it a myth. As far as I’m concerned, the jury is still out on this one.

Small Town, USA – Part 4

I tell you more crazy things happen in my supermarket at the deli counter. I guess it’s because aside from twiddling your thumbs while waiting for your number to be called, there’s nothing much to do, well except people-watch which I confess I’m prone to–a lot.

For instance, last week I found myself staring at the mature woman, okay very, very old woman, standing a few feet away from me. I stared because I never (no exaggeration) saw a woman’s face with so many channels of wrinkles before. My guess is she had spent a lot of days in the sun and it had taken an awful toll. But that wasn’t the most striking thing about her.

The thing is, she had taken great pains to put a full face of make-up on. And it was beautifully done. I know because I was a Mary Kay Beauty Consultant for ten years way back when. As a matter of fact, because I spent  time as a consultant, I rarely leave the house without some kind of make-up on myself: lipstick, blush and sometimes eyebrow pencil. This particular day, I was spruced up pretty good.

I hadn’t noticed her looking at me, but she must have because she leaned toward me and said, “I like your make-up. It’s perfect for you.”

I responded, “I was just thinking the same thing about you.”

She smiled and said, “Well, I’d say we’re both still kickin’ it.” She chuckled as she walked toward the produce department.

These are the wonderfully unexpected things that happen in a small town.

Small Town, USA–Part 3

It appears that everyone in a small town talks more, at least that’s how it seems to me. I have more conversations at the deli counter than I ever had in the big, bad city.

Don’t get me wrong. I loved the city and there are still things about it that I miss, but small towns, although microcosms of a large city’s population, the inhabitants are hellbent on holding conversations.

For example, last week I ordered some low-sodium boiled ham (I’m on a health kick. It will probably last a few more weeks.) Anyway, this lady standing next to me hears my order and she asks if I had ever tried Rosemary Ham. Who ever heard of Rosemary Ham? I don’t even remember seeing it in the display case, but sure enough when she orders it, the girl behind the counter doesn’t question her.

Oh, and by the way, I don’t know if they do this in every small town, but ours always offers the customer a taste before slicing off the order. Maybe they think everyone enters the store famished–who knows. So this lady gestures toward me and asks the girl to give me a slice too since I’ve never tasted Rosemary Ham. (Everyone in the deli area hears her request, but none of them looks surprised or for that matter bent-out-of-shape because we are holding things up while I get my all-important taste.)

I obediently take my slice and thank the girl. My new best friend has another piece of interesting news to relate. If I go to the bakery department, they sell the most delicious Rosemary Bread. She advises me to make a sandwich using this bread and to add cheddar cheese and mayo. She assures me that I will be in heaven.

Now, you think this is where I’m going to end by poo-pooing the whole episode don’t you, but I’m here to tell you, the woman knew what she was talking about. I wonder if her name was Rosemary?

Small Town, USA–Part 2

What’s the first thing you learn when you live in a big city or anywhere for that matter–don’t tell anyone where you live!

So what do you think my reaction might have been when I met a man in the produce department of the supermarket and he asked, “Where do you live?”

We had been having a perfectly mundane conversation about the weather and how so many of the streets were flooded while we stood beside a display of eggplants. All of a sudden he veered off and asked me where I lived. I almost picked up one of the eggplants to smash  it over his head when I glanced at his face. He didn’t look like an aging lothario, so although my hand continued to rest on an eggplant, I stopped and gave my course of action some further thought.

You see, my town’s streets are divided alphabetically.  It occurred to me that he might be innocently asking what section I lived in, especially when he followed up his first question with, “I live in the E Section.”

Easing my hand off the eggplant, I smiled and answered, “I live in the Z Section.”

“Oh, nice area,” he remarked. “I have a friend who lives over there.”

Our conversation ended shortly after. Poor man had no idea he could have been tomorrow’s headline–Man Massacred With a Big, Juicy Eggplant By a Crazed Woman in the Produce Department.

Small Town, USA — Part1

If you want to experience a tiny touch of culture shock, move from a large, bustling city to a quiet, bucolic town. Be warned though, the adjustment can be tough for a while. I don’t wish to make the changes sound like bad things, but it takes some getting used to when you’re least expecting little surprises.

For instance “rush hour.”

Recently, while driving home with a visiting friend after a day of shopping, she began to laugh hysterically for no reason. I asked her, “What on earth are you laughing at?”

She replied by pointing to the clock on my dashboard–it read 5:30. “This is your rush hour!” she exclaimed.

I looked around. There were about a dozen other cars on the road.

My friend still works in the city and has to drive to and from work on a crowded highway that I too was once well-acquainted with. I giggled with her. Rush hour was no longer a  part of my life experience, but I remembered the first time I encountered this small town rush hour.

I was delirious too.

Clippy the Paperclip

Do you remember Clippy?

Jimmy Fallon mentioned him the other night in his monologue. And I got to wondering just when did Clippy disappear from Microsoft Word and from my life. Not that I’m complaining because he was nothing but a distraction.

Every time I started to type a letter, he’d pop up and ask “Do you want to type a letter?” Duh!? I ended up deleting him constantly until I figured out how to make him evaporate permanently. But like many things in life, once they are gone it’s too late to think maybe you sort of miss them–just a little.

Mmm, goodby forever, Clippy.

Tomato, Tomahto

Whichever way you say it, you haven’t eaten a really good tomato in a very long time–well, unless you’re growing your own or buying from a farmers market. However, you are eating really, really pretty tomatoes: bright red, no blemishes, smooth skin, firm to the touch, perfect green stem. Too bad they’re red rocks with little or no juice inside.

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Every year, it gets harder and harder to find an awful looking, ugly tomato–the ones that are grown to taste good, not to look good.

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If you’re lucky enough to find one, don’t expect it to be bright red. Sometimes they’re more orange. And don’t bother to look for a perfect stem sticking out of its misshapen body, because there probably isn’t one.

If you’ve ever bent over and picked a tomato direct from the plant, you’ll know the minute you hold this ugly baby in the palm of your hand that it’s been sun-drenched and grown outside and maybe it hasn’t even been sprayed with “who knows what.”

So, the next time you pass the tomatoes in your supermarket, try to figure out why you don’t see those hideous looking tomatoes in the store anymore. Are we so enamored of beauty that our food has to look gorgeous, while real taste suffers?

Oh, well. Pretty is “in.”  So, I won’t even get started on our pretty, pretty red beef, or our pearly white eggs, or …

The Good Wife

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This is my question. If Kalinda (Archie Panjabi) won an Emmy last season for Best Supporting Actress, why have the powers-that-be given her “half” the screen time this season? Her character was beginning to shape up into a complex, fascinating personality. Getting a glimpse of her private life had kept me interested.

The new character she is sharing time with, Blake (Scott Porter), as another private investigator for the firm has, thus far, been unexciting.

Another thing that has the hour dragging is this sudden interest in the kids–boring.

When Did Living in the USA Get So Scary?

I remember when the news was delivered on TV in an unbiased manner. You were free to interpret it whatever way you liked. What a surprise–we were intelligent enough to do that for ourselves.

Enter cable TV and Internet.

Now we have “pundits.” People who give opinions in an authoritative manner through mass media. (That definition is straight from the dictionary) These pundits pose as learned individuals. But it seems to me what they really do is stir up a lot of hate. It’s all about the ratings, folks.

And when did we turn the corner of humanity and find that public humiliation was a fun form of television entertainment?

When did bullying become deadly?

I mean, for Pete’s sake, this awful girl named Vera used to sit in the desk behind mine and pull my ponytail.  She was a bully. So was Jesse. She always grabbed my scooter and wouldn’t give it back unless I begged. (which, for the record, I wouldn’t) What a bully she was!

Here’s a little something to ponder on cyber-bullying. And to think I was worried about Vera and Jessie.

When did we become reticent, if not scared, to engage in political talk with someone who held an opposing point of view?

Of course, there was no Internet or Reality TV or Pundits back then.

But right now, in this time and space, living in a country that is so filled with hatred is becoming burdensome and frightening.