Frances Ellen Speaks!

Archive for the ‘Observations’ Category

I have been eliminated–not laid off with the hope of being rehired. No, I am an eliminated entity. That’s like erasing all the writing from a chalkboard with one sweep of an eraser. One minute there’s something there; the next minute it’s gone.

The thing is, one doesn’t know what to do with oneself when the alarm doesn’t go off. I remember all those mornings when that annoying alarm sounded and all I wanted to do was catch another 20 minutes of sleep. Now, for some reason, I don’t crave the sleep. I get up like always, but I have no place to go.

After several days of thinking and analyzing and speaking to my family, I have decided to move in with my daughter. We will be three generations in one house. That has spawned much discussion among my friends and acquaintances.

Many families, not just mine, are merging together out of necessity. I didn’t realize that while I was still employed, but it appears families are circling the wagons. They have run out of other choices.

In some instances, it is a good thing. My ophthalmologist has opened his doors once again to his son, and his nephew, too, is having a hard time finding another job. He is expecting to find him on his doorstep any day now, as well. However, he welcomes the opportunity to help both boys through this crisis and believes he will come to know each of them a little better because as he puts it, ” I only know the boys as they once were, not as the adults they have become.”

I think my decision to join my family will also be a good one, but I know there are many family situations that are not conducive to combining generations in one home.

I just had a discussion with a friend five minutes ago, while I was writing this post as a matter of fact, who is not looking forward to what the near future has in store for her. Her mother-in law and brother-in-law are preparing to move into her home. She is forced to give up space that she worked hard to create for herself and her husband over the years. That may not sound like much, but it’s huge. Furniture put into storage to make room for other furniture being moved in. Drapes to be hung in a sun room that will now be used as a bedroom, no longer a place of refuge. She views this turn of events as an end of her peace and comfort, something she craves when she comes home from work. The fact that she is forced to give all of this over to people she doesn’t particularly care for, but who she is obligated to help in their time of need, makes it all the more an enormous struggle. Yet, she will do it because she loves her husband.

I think depression will be the likely result for those who are forced to join together and make unwanted and unforeseen changes in their lives. What a pity. What to do? What to do?

I don’t know exactly when it became fashionable to humiliate people on national TV. Did that first happen with American Idol? Or some other show with equally distasteful “judges?”

When did it become okay to debase people? And when did other people begin to enjoy it, to find it completely acceptable and totally delightful? Perhaps, soon we will allow some energetic entrepreneur to build a coliseum for our entertainment pleasure.

Before that happens, though, WE-TV has decided stalking is the new wave of reality’s future. Oh, better still–stalk the fat girls. Let’s make them squirm. It will be fun to spy on them and then invade their homes to see what vile food is lurking in their cabinets.

But, of course, WE has sanitized the show by assuring the viewer that the degradation to women is all done in the name of healthy living.  Oh, did I forget to mention the reason why these fat girls will be made to eat humble pie instead of apple pie? WE-TV is out to Save Their Lives. Yes, sir–it’s all about being altruistic. Thanks so much, WE.

Really! How far is too far? Will America really delight in watching women be put through a meat grinder of mental torture?

It was 7:00 a.m. I sat on the porch sipping tea when it happened. First, I heard the loud flutter of wings swooping to the ground, and then I saw the landing, It was a hawk gunning for two squirrels, who minutes before were running around the trunk of a tree, playing and squealing at each other. I expected them to scamper up the tree, but instead they stayed grounded. The hawk flew at them, but was unsuccessful. Flying close to the ground made it difficult for him to strike at the squirrels. They were too fast for him. After two attempts, the hawk gave up and flew away.

Here’s another Squirrel vs Hawk story. Again the squirrel outwits the hawk.

 I am at my computer just now and a hawk landed in the oak outside the window.  A squirrel was sitting on the next branch and it became Squirrel vs Hawk.  The hawk eyed the rodent, the rodent hopped up to the branch the hawk was on.  The hawk backed off, the squirrel returned to the lower branch.  The hawk moved closer to the squirrel and the squirrel hopped back up to the hawk’s branch.  The hawk spread its wing intimidatingly and the squirrel went back to his own branch.  Finally the hawk gave up and flew to the fence and then into the other trees.

Hawks aren’t the squirrels’ only problem. Dogs love the pursuit, too. Check out Basil

Basil spots a squirrel behind a bench. Before I can know what’s happening, he jumps on the seat, then the edge of the bench’s back, from which he proceeds to jump off, in an attempt to follow the squirrel up the tree. Of course, he falls to the floor, from where he continues his chase.

This happens in less than 30 seconds. After the squirrel jumps to another tree, he resumes the walk as if nothing had happened.

It appears cats are a major problem for the poor squirrels, too. See Martannasmimi’s Weblog

Rocky fell from his home,  a nest in a big tree. He was about to be attacked by a huge cat when Popa rescued him. Marta was amazed to see this tiny helpless little guy.

We called our local animal rescue person, a very nice woman who lives down the road . Jean is an older woman who has been taking in local injured wildlife for many years.

Some days are luckier than others.

My mother would say to me,”Don’t spray cologne on your neck.”

Here’s her rationale. The skin under your chin, the “front” of your neck, is thin, delicate skin. It is one of the first places where people show their age. Since the first ingredient in cologne is alcohol, this is NOT a good thing to spray on your neck year after year after year. Her advice–spritz a little to the “back” of your neck, your wrists and the inside of your elbows.

This was another of her favorites.  ”Is there any reason why you have to look in the mirror at yourself while you brush your teeth?”

At the time, this seemed a little peevish to me, but I wasn’t the one cleaning off the tiny specks of dried toothpaste off the mirror. I am now. I don’t look into the mirror while brushing anymore.

Here’s another. “Always make sure you have money in your purse.”

Notice she didn’t say a “dime” (which way back when, that’s how much it cost to make a phone call in case of an emergency). She meant “real” money. To this day, I never leave the house with less than $10.00. And I have experienced my share of little emergencies when I was glad I had that money with me. Especially one night after midnight, when I got a flat tire and a good samaritan stopped and changed it for me. I forced that $10.00 on him, he didn’t want to take it, but I had it to give, and at 1:00 a.m. in the morning, I wished it could’ve been more.

She had some kooky ones, too. “Always make your bed in the morning.”

This had to do with one of her many “what if” scenarios. What if you went to work and there was a fire, (The firemen would see my unmade bed?) or what if you forgot something at home and had to send someone to your house to fetch it for you. (They would look through my house mainly to see if my bed was made?) Believe me, she had several more freaky reasons why my bed should me made, but I think she just liked the idea of a home that was always in order. This was her way of scaring me into being orderly.

Evidently, she was not alone with this last piece of motherly advice. I have friends whose mothers told them the same thing. ”Always wear clean underwear.”

I will spare you the “what if” scenarios that go along with this one.

Many people recall insightful advice they’ve received from a parent. The young mother over at Verlanderville remembers an admonition from her mother.

Growing up, my mother told us that we were not allowed to use the word hate for things like vegetables, songs, people, etc.  She said that it was a very strong word and that we should only use it for things like sin, injustice, math, etc.

Clearly, dads can give good advice, too. See Mom & A Microphone

It was my 7-year-old’s first flag football game of the season. I was secretly dreading it, since my mother and father were always sitting on the sidelines at Griffin’s games, cheering him on. This year, Dad wouldn’t be there. Dad was Griffin’s biggest fan. Last season, when I expressed concern that I “wasn’t sure this was his strongest sport,” Dad told me, “be patient. He’ll get better with time.” And just like all the other advice my father has given me, he was right.

Makes you smile, doesn’t it?

I don’t text message. What I mean is, I don’t send them and I don’t receive them because I don’t use a cell phone. I don’t own one,  I don’t want one, and I hope I never have to rely on one. That said, I do understand why people feel they need to have one.

It’s been a boon to parents, allowing them to keep tabs on the whereabouts of their young children. (I understand that, but my children are grown now.)

If you work in any type of service position, the cell phone allows your customers/clients to reach you 24/7. (I only partially understand this one, since the only persons that really must be on-call at all times are doctors, and even they employ professionals to screen their calls.)

Then there is a more recent phenomenon. People are exchanging their landlines for cell phones. It’s no longer cost effective to pay for both. (I understand this one, too, although I have chosen my landline over a cell phone.)

But this post isn’t about cell phones, it is about the brain-cell-devouring, punctuationless abbreviations that go hand in hand with text messaging. Anyone who is a lover of words, as I am, cannot help feeling threatened by this newest polyglot of hideous jargon.

Last week a friend of mine handed me her cell phone and said, “Read this cute message I received from my son.”

I could barely decipher what it said. Not only that, my stomach started to ache and if the message had been a little longer, I probably would’ve doubled over and retched. Don’t get me wrong. It was a cutesy message, but the lack of punctuation, and the insertion of unfamiliar abbreviations made my head spin.

It got me to thinking about an English professor I had many years ago. One day upon entering the classroom and before returning graded papers to the class, he said, “This is a sorry batch of essays. I have taken off for spelling mistakes and all grammatical errors. It’s most unfortunate because some of your stories were actually commendable, but as for the rest…”

If he thought those papers were atrocious, I hate to think about the papers he would receive today from kids who have spent years writing shorthand sentences because that is the most expedient method used when text messaging.

One other thing that puzzles me. If you’re holding a cell phone in your hand, people, why are you text messaging? Make the call, connect with your friends, and leave the precious English language intact.

[For those who are interested in Astrology, I've finished the Chinese Zodiac articles over at LifeScript.com. The last in my series was Year of the Pig. I'll be starting a series of articles on the Sun Signs. You might enjoy reading the first one, Aries Woman .]

Since I wrote all about things that I love last week, it seems only fair that I write about a few things I hated in the 80′s and still hate in 2008. As in my previous post, some of the things on my old list are outdated. For instance, back then I hated “window envelopes.” I don’t have a problem with them anymore because I pay the majority of my bills online. I also didn’t like to “clean the oven,” and thank goodness that has changed. I have a self-cleaning oven.

Following are still problem areas–things that I hate:

Toilet paper installed backward on the dispenser
Stupid TV commercials
Guests that arrive late for a sit-down dinner
Any kind of cruelty or abuse
Mixing ground beef with my hands (yuk!)
Golf (Sorry, golfers, but I just don’t get it.)
Hate when my feet are cold
Polkas
Advertising cards stuck inside a magazine
Bugs, mice and snakes

Well, that’s it for me. If you need to vent, send me your list.