Category Archives: Life

Frivolous For The Soul

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I had a need to write about something frivolous this week. With the downturn of the stock markets, and the low roads being taken by the politicians, I’m thinking I need to raise my spirits.

So here goes. If you look up the word frivolous on the internet, here are some of the things you find.

How would you expand the powers of the vice-presidency? I’d make it so they could fly in space anytime they want to.

There were other really good answers to this question, too. Like, “I’d give the VP the power to prosecute individuals for wearing white after Labor Day. ” If you want to see more, go to Booman Tribune.

How about this? Here’s the newest luggage model from Samsonite. Stop in at Core77  to see more frivolous, whacky stuff.

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Are you up for a frivolous lawsuit? There are many, but here’s a good one.

In 1991, Richard Harris sued Anheiser-Busch for $10,000 for false advertising. Harris  claimed to suffer from emotional distress in addition to mental and physical injury. Why? Because when he drank beer, he didn’t have any luck with the ladies, as promised in the TV ads. Harris also didn’t like that he got sick sometimes after he drank. The case was thrown out of court.

Whenever I feel somewhat off-balance, I tend to do something frivolous. This week was no exception. My vacuum cleaner blew up. It’s been acting strange for quite a while now, so its refusal to budge another inch came as no surprise, really. I decided its breakdown was a sign that I should do something frivolous to make myself feel better. So, I ordered an iRobot Roombah to do all future vacuuming for me.

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I think I need to give my little robot a name so I can call to it while it works. Hmmm.

“Dumbfounded” by Matt Rothschild

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Before I even started reading this memoir, I had to chuckle over the Author’s Note. Matt wrote:

“I’m not going to feed you that same old baloney about how memory is imperfect…The truth is that while everything in this book happened, it didn’t always happen the way I say it did. Sometimes I changed names or descriptions of people and places. Big deal. Sometimes I altered chronology…made people look foolish when they weren’t so foolish, made people look good when they were fools…–I know you’ll love this one–said things happened in one place when they really happened somewhere else. Okay, so maybe that is a big deal…Some of this stuff is damn funny and some of it’s tragic. Just don’t take the window dressing too literally.”

I suppose Oprah would have apoplexy over that statement. It had the opposite effect on me. I wanted to read more.

You don’t expect a book written by a Jewish fellow to start off with a chapter involving Santa Claus, but this one does. The first chapter is titled Why I Don’t Believe In Santa Claus and it has nothing whatsoever to do with religion. As a matter of fact, Matt didn’t even know he was Jewish until he was in the second grade.

Abandoned as an infant by his mother, Matt was raised by his grandparents, while their daughter, his mother, chose to hobnob across Europe. If this makes the book sound like a tearjerker, pack that notion away. Although some chapters are poignant, for the most part, the book is fresh, humorous and, at times, uproarious.

His grandfather, who was a genteel, aristocratic gentleman, had the good luck to marry a woman who was a real firecracker. She jokingly referred to the Rothschild family as a crazy cult. Speaking to her husband, she made remarks like:

“…your cult’s had so much shock therapy that if they held hands, they could provide enough electricity to power New York City.”

Getting to know Matt’s grandmother through his eyes is an unforgettable trip you won’t want to miss.

Peppered throughout the memoir are other fascinating characters–Elaine, who once convinced him that since they spent so much money in FAO Schwartz they should be entitled to some free gifts, The Petty Thieves.  His short association with a reclusive old woman living in his building, who hadn’t been seen by any of her neighbors in thirty years, Greta Garbo Lives Next Door, leaves you wistful, wishing he had time to find out more about her.  And there was his third-grade teacher, Ms. Wood, who delighted in giving him D’s on his papers, which he hid from his grandparents until they were eventually found, All in the D’s. His grandmother didn’t pull any punches that day,

“Oh, Matthew, what the hell are these?”                                                            .

Although this book is written by a person who lived just steps away from the Metropolitan Museum of Art on Fifth Avenue, you never get the impression that it’s from the perspective of a rich kid. If anything, you feel Matt didn’t even realize he was rich until he reached puberty. (That’s another amusing story to read about).

What makes this memoir beautiful is that it is honest, in spite of what Matt tells you in the Author’s Note. His writing is witty, sincere, unerringly compassionate, hilarious and totally entertaining. Pick up this book; it’s a memorable read.

[Goodnight, Mr. Newman. We loved you.]

DO NOT Keep a Diary

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About a week ago, I sent an email out to several friends asking them to share a favorite childhood memory with me. Many of those who replied were the same people who have been telling me they can’t write.

If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you know I strongly feel everyone should be writing something –anything– so that the only thing one leaves behind isn’t just ashes. What would be the point of your being here if that’s all you leave?

Don’t even think about keeping a diary. Because you probably won’t. However, having a notebook sitting on an end table, a pretty one with flowers or something on the cover, might be just the thing. If it’s there, maybe you’ll write in it once in a while. I guarantee someone from the future will thank you for it.

From time to time, I’ll show some of the responses I received to my question. The ones I’ve chosen to share today probably took a mere five minutes (if that) for the respondents to write.

Here’s one from Judy H. It’s only two sentences long, but it says a lot about how kids entertained themselves before computers, and about the lack of crime in our neighborhoods.

I think my favorite childhood memories were playing games in the street – like “giant step” and neighborhood games like “Cops and Robbers”. Those were the days when you could run around the neighborhood without being afraid.

This one is from Judy C. Again, very few sentences. This one is a whopping three sentences. Who knew before there were Good Humor trucks, there were Good Humor bikes?

Let’s, see, I think it would be when my grandfather was a VP with Good Humor. I used to visit the warehouse where all the Good Humor Ice Cream bicycles were kept and riding them around the warehouse, not to mention eating the Good Humor ice cream birthday cakes he used to have made for me. Wow, that was a looooooooooooonng time ago!!

It doesn’t get much more succinct than this from Denise O.

When my sister ;o) got me Tony the Pony
>Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox LOVE THAT TONY!!!

For the record, Denise is my sister and I bought the Tony the Pony for her birthday when she was four or five years old. Tony is a legend in our family. But who would know the story of Tony if we didn’t write about him?

Trust me, you need to buy yourself a notebook.

The Saga Of The Squirrels

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It was 7:00 a.m. I sat on the porch sipping tea when it happened. First, I heard the loud flutter of wings swooping to the ground, and then I saw the landing, It was a hawk gunning for two squirrels, who minutes before were running around the trunk of a tree, playing and squealing at each other. I expected them to scamper up the tree, but instead they stayed grounded. The hawk flew at them, but was unsuccessful. Flying close to the ground made it difficult for him to strike at the squirrels. They were too fast for him. After two attempts, the hawk gave up and flew away.

Here’s another Squirrel vs Hawk story. Again the squirrel outwits the hawk.

 I am at my computer just now and a hawk landed in the oak outside the window.  A squirrel was sitting on the next branch and it became Squirrel vs Hawk.  The hawk eyed the rodent, the rodent hopped up to the branch the hawk was on.  The hawk backed off, the squirrel returned to the lower branch.  The hawk moved closer to the squirrel and the squirrel hopped back up to the hawk’s branch.  The hawk spread its wing intimidatingly and the squirrel went back to his own branch.  Finally the hawk gave up and flew to the fence and then into the other trees.

Hawks aren’t the squirrels’ only problem. Dogs love the pursuit, too. Check out Basil

Basil spots a squirrel behind a bench. Before I can know what’s happening, he jumps on the seat, then the edge of the bench’s back, from which he proceeds to jump off, in an attempt to follow the squirrel up the tree. Of course, he falls to the floor, from where he continues his chase.

This happens in less than 30 seconds. After the squirrel jumps to another tree, he resumes the walk as if nothing had happened.

It appears cats are a major problem for the poor squirrels, too. See Martannasmimi’s Weblog

Rocky fell from his home,  a nest in a big tree. He was about to be attacked by a huge cat when Popa rescued him. Marta was amazed to see this tiny helpless little guy.

We called our local animal rescue person, a very nice woman who lives down the road . Jean is an older woman who has been taking in local injured wildlife for many years.

Some days are luckier than others.

Things My Mother Told Me

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My mother would say to me,”Don’t spray cologne on your neck.”

Here’s her rationale. The skin under your chin, the “front” of your neck, is thin, delicate skin. It is one of the first places where people show their age. Since the first ingredient in cologne is alcohol, this is NOT a good thing to spray on your neck year after year after year. Her advice–spritz a little to the “back” of your neck, your wrists and the inside of your elbows.

This was another of her favorites.  “Is there any reason why you have to look in the mirror at yourself while you brush your teeth?”

At the time, this seemed a little peevish to me, but I wasn’t the one cleaning off the tiny specks of dried toothpaste off the mirror. I am now. I don’t look into the mirror while brushing anymore.

Here’s another. “Always make sure you have money in your purse.”

Notice she didn’t say a “dime” (which way back when, that’s how much it cost to make a phone call in case of an emergency). She meant “real” money. To this day, I never leave the house with less than $10.00. And I have experienced my share of little emergencies when I was glad I had that money with me. Especially one night after midnight, when I got a flat tire and a good samaritan stopped and changed it for me. I forced that $10.00 on him, he didn’t want to take it, but I had it to give, and at 1:00 a.m. in the morning, I wished it could’ve been more.

She had some kooky ones, too. “Always make your bed in the morning.”

This had to do with one of her many “what if” scenarios. What if you went to work and there was a fire, (The firemen would see my unmade bed?) or what if you forgot something at home and had to send someone to your house to fetch it for you. (They would look through my house mainly to see if my bed was made?) Believe me, she had several more freaky reasons why my bed should me made, but I think she just liked the idea of a home that was always in order. This was her way of scaring me into being orderly.

Evidently, she was not alone with this last piece of motherly advice. I have friends whose mothers told them the same thing. “Always wear clean underwear.”

I will spare you the “what if” scenarios that go along with this one.

Many people recall insightful advice they’ve received from a parent. The young mother over at Verlanderville remembers an admonition from her mother.

Growing up, my mother told us that we were not allowed to use the word hate for things like vegetables, songs, people, etc.  She said that it was a very strong word and that we should only use it for things like sin, injustice, math, etc.

Clearly, dads can give good advice, too. See Mom & A Microphone

It was my 7-year-old’s first flag football game of the season. I was secretly dreading it, since my mother and father were always sitting on the sidelines at Griffin’s games, cheering him on. This year, Dad wouldn’t be there. Dad was Griffin’s biggest fan. Last season, when I expressed concern that I “wasn’t sure this was his strongest sport,” Dad told me, “be patient. He’ll get better with time.” And just like all the other advice my father has given me, he was right.

Makes you smile, doesn’t it?

6 Ways To Beat The Cost Of Groceries

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  1. Don’t throw those leftover veggies in the garbage. Save them in a large container in the freezer. Keep adding to it. Leftover beef and chicken can be collected in the same container. Chop meat into cubes before adding. When the container is full, dump it into a pot of broth (chicken, beef or vegetable). Better still use some low-sodium bouillon cubes. It’s such a healthy meal, you don’t have to feel guilty about serving it with a big loaf of Italian or French bread.
  2. Before you write a single word on your weekly menu-planning list, (You do make a list, don’t you?) check the refrigerator for leftovers. Use the leftovers. Be honest. How many times have you forgotten about them and ended up throwing them away? You will now vow to never to that again!
  3. At the beginning of every week, make your menu list. What exactly are you planning to have for lunch and dinner during the coming week? You’ve already checked the frig, right? Now it’s time to look in the freezer. That’s your starting point. Build a meal around something you already have in the freezer. If it’s meat, all you’ll need are the veggies to go with it. If you have a bag of frozen veggies, decide what meat or fish you will prepare. Or be a vegetarian for a night.
  4. While you decide what will be on your menu planner, you need to have a second list right alongside it. This list is your grocery list. (Maybe you already have one started. I tend to write things down as I use the last one during the week, i.e. eggs, milk, cereal) List everything you will need at the supermarket to complete the meals you are planning to prepare for the coming week. When you walk into the supermarket–stick to the list. You’ll be surprised how much money you’ll save when you enter the store armed with a plan.
  5. If you shop once a week, try shopping every other week. Actually, someone told me to try this, but I didn’t think it would save me any money. Surprise, surprise. It did. I’m not sure how or why, because my bi-weekly shopping list was a whole lot longer than my weekly list, but at the end of the month, I had saved approximately $40.00. I am a family of one, so that’s pretty darn good. [Caution: If you try this, make sure you have enough food in the house to last for two weeks. That’s the tricky part.]
  6. Finally, don’t forget about pasta. It’s inexpensive and filling. When I was growing up, Sunday was always Pasta Day. The beauty of Pasta Day is that there are all kinds of shapes and sizes of pasta to choose from, so it feels like a new meal every week. Switch it out every week: ziti, rigatoni, spaghetti, penne, to name a few. The added bonus–pasta is quick and easy to prepare. [Hint: After draining your pasta in a collander, do not rinse it with water. The outer layer of starch on the pasta is what makes the sauce stick to it. If you rinse–the sauce slides off.]

So, there you have it. Six suggestions–give them a try.

I’m open to any and all suggestions on saving money, so let me know if you have any.

Happiness Is A Walk In The Rain – Spontaneity

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image from

Last Saturday afternoon, as I was getting ready to walk home from my friend Bev’s house, the clouds shuddered and an unexpected shower of rain began pelting the windows. It sounded good to me. It sounded like bad timing to Bev.

Her immediate thoughts were: maybe I should wait until the rain stopped or slowed down, or I should, at least, borrow an umbrella, or…

But I was thinking, I couldn’t remember the last time I walked in the rain. So, I pooh, poohed the offer of an umbrella and ventured outside. It was a hot day. The rain felt cool. I noticed steam rising from the ground, as the earth drank its full. Huge drops of rain cascaded down from my head. There was no lightning, no thunder–a perfect day for a stroll. I looked up at the sky as I walked and drops of water splattered onto my face. By the time, I reached my front door, I was soaked to the skin. I stepped inside and dropped my clothes.

Spontaneity had surprised me and gifted me with a glorious, divine, magnificent interlude!

From the news stan(d)

Someone’s said that “spontaneity is the quality of being able to do something just because you feel like it at the moment, of trusting your instincts, of taking yourself by surprise…

You don’t think about being spontaneous, you just do it. It comes from within you to do what you like, how you like it and when you want it. It just happens – unplanned, unstructured and best of all, unexpected but still within your power to shape it.

The Cook Family seems to know how to be spontaneous.

The other day Dan got home from work just in time to catch the sun going down . The second he came through the door he said, “grab a blanket, we’re going on the roof.”

This idea tickled me – Manufactured Spontaneity

At Flax, the art supply store, you can buy a notebook with napkins instead of pages. Because so many great ideas started on a napkin. So. You should be ready with some napkins.

Spontaneity–it comes in all sizes.

What about you? Spontaneous or Well Planned Agenda?

10 Ways To Stretch Your Dollar

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These are things I have been doing to ease the pain of high gas prices, high food prices and the devaluation of the dollar.

  1. I’m cooking more and dining out less.
  2. When I do eat out, I go to a restaurant that has a coupon offer. I doggy bag what I can’t eat. Sometimes that doggy bag becomes tomorrow’s lunch.
  3. I’ve begun to use coupons at the supermarket again. I slacked off for a while, but I’m back.
  4. I don’t drive out of my way, but when I can, I purchase gas at Costco. A membership card at any of the warehouse stores has gotten more attractive, even if you don’t have a large family. Share the cost of the card with a friend–even better. Then meet on a Saturday morning and enjoy each other’s company while you shop and gas up.
  5. I’ve always bought name brand items, but I’m giving generics a shot when they’re available.
  6. I’m reading more and looking at less TV. Gone are the days when I have the TV on as background noise. And I remember to close the lights when I leave a room.
  7. I’m only buying things I need. Impulse shopping has come to an abrupt halt. And if it’s not on sale, it’s not in my cart. I’ve also sworn off shopping on the internet and the TV.
  8. I make a special effort not to throw food away. In the past, I’ve forgotten certain foods were in the refrigerator. I’m now keeping an eagle eye on all leftovers. Nothing gets wasted. Every last morsel gets eaten.
  9. I’m shopping less frequently at the supermarket, too. I’ve always loved eating breakfast at dinnertime, and eggs are almost always a staple in my refrigerator. So, I’m eating scrambled eggs and toast in the p.m. again once in a while. Tuna fish is another staple I had been neglecting. I forgot how much I love tuna salad slathered on a crisp hoagie roll with lettuce and mayo. Yum.
  10. And lastly, I set my air conditioning a few degrees higher this summer. It’s still more comfortable inside than outside. You’d be surprised how much you save this way. As an added bonus, lowering that thermostat conserves energy overall.

Some of these things, I’ve always done. I started as a youngster, because my mother insisted on most of these conservation rules. Even when gas prices were $.50 a gallon, my mom was plotting her shopping course, never backtracking, always hitting her errands on a pre-ordained route. Consequently, I’ve always done that myself.

Jeez, do you believe gas was ever $.50 a gallon?

Do you have any other ideas I can use to stretch my dollar?

Text Messaging Is Bad, I Think, Maybe

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I don’t text message. What I mean is, I don’t send them and I don’t receive them because I don’t use a cell phone. I don’t own one,  I don’t want one, and I hope I never have to rely on one. That said, I do understand why people feel they need to have one.

It’s been a boon to parents, allowing them to keep tabs on the whereabouts of their young children. (I understand that, but my children are grown now.)

If you work in any type of service position, the cell phone allows your customers/clients to reach you 24/7. (I only partially understand this one, since the only persons that really must be on-call at all times are doctors, and even they employ professionals to screen their calls.)

Then there is a more recent phenomenon. People are exchanging their landlines for cell phones. It’s no longer cost effective to pay for both. (I understand this one, too, although I have chosen my landline over a cell phone.)

But this post isn’t about cell phones, it is about the brain-cell-devouring, punctuationless abbreviations that go hand in hand with text messaging. Anyone who is a lover of words, as I am, cannot help feeling threatened by this newest polyglot of hideous jargon.

Last week a friend of mine handed me her cell phone and said, “Read this cute message I received from my son.”

I could barely decipher what it said. Not only that, my stomach started to ache and if the message had been a little longer, I probably would’ve doubled over and retched. Don’t get me wrong. It was a cutesy message, but the lack of punctuation, and the insertion of unfamiliar abbreviations made my head spin.

It got me to thinking about an English professor I had many years ago. One day upon entering the classroom and before returning graded papers to the class, he said, “This is a sorry batch of essays. I have taken off for spelling mistakes and all grammatical errors. It’s most unfortunate because some of your stories were actually commendable, but as for the rest…”

If he thought those papers were atrocious, I hate to think about the papers he would receive today from kids who have spent years writing shorthand sentences because that is the most expedient method used when text messaging.

One other thing that puzzles me. If you’re holding a cell phone in your hand, people, why are you text messaging? Make the call, connect with your friends, and leave the precious English language intact.

[For those who are interested in Astrology, I’ve finished the Chinese Zodiac articles over at LifeScript.com. The last in my series was Year of the Pig. I’ll be starting a series of articles on the Sun Signs. You might enjoy reading the first one, Aries Woman .]

Remembering George Carlin

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I loved George Carlin. Even when I didn’t agree with what he was saying, he could make me double over and laugh my head off. A lot of things he pointed out tickled my funny bone.

Politics especially got his juices flowing. Some of his famous political one liners include:

“In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem.”

“Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.”

And this silly one – “George Washington brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country.”

But George had a much more serious side when it came to politics and government. On lobbyists from The Nation

“The real owners are the big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions. Forget the politicians, they’re an irrelevancy. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. You don’t. You have no choice. You have owners. They own you. They own everything. They own all the important land. They own and control the corporations. They’ve long since bought and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the statehouses, the city halls. They’ve got the judges in their back pockets. And they own all the big media companies, so that they control just about all of the news and information you hear. They’ve got you by the balls. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying – lobbying to get what they want. Well, we know what they want; they want more for themselves and less for everybody else,” ranted the comedian whose routines were studied in graduate schools.

On Obama from salon.com

And I’m very excited, for the sake of itself, for this Obama story. It’s very wonderful to watch and to follow and to read, because it is so different from what America has allowed itself to do. And I don’t know that it goes anywhere, and I’m not investing in it, but I do enjoy witnessing it. I think it’s a very exciting story.

Asked about the right and the left in comedy–A.V.Club

Do you think it’s possible to be truly funny from a position of power? For instance, Dennis Miller, who’s always been a smart, funny comedian, has undergone a political conversion over the past decade, and now his comedy is rooted in his support of the Bush administration. And he seems less funny.GC:

For some reason, there aren’t as many right-wing comedians as there are left or center or non-political. I read something about this recently that made sense, and I’ve forgotten what it said, of course. I have great respect for Dennis Miller’s mind and ability as a comedian, but I agree that I am not as personally entertained by his new material, which you describe as “coming from a position of power.” Of course, he always did come from a position of presumed superiority, and I don’t necessarily say that pejoratively. He did come from what appeared to be a smartass, superior platform. That’s part of what made him work as a stand-up.

As an all around comedian, George is up there with the greats. Local 6.com reports that Carlin will be awarded the Mark Twain Comedy Prize this November.

 The John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts said that Carlin will be honored for his 50-year career as a Grammy-winning standup comedian, writer and actor.

The chairman of the Kennedy Center, Stephen Schwarzman, complimented Carlin as a comedian who can make people laugh and also make them think.

In reading the various articles that have been written about George since his death, I was surprised that the last vote he cast was for George McGovern. He never voted again after that election. I suppose he didn’t think one vote counted for much. That’s a pity. I consider my vote one of the greatest freedoms America offers. Even on my most cynical days, I am grateful for it.

I will miss George. Not too many people have the ability to make me laugh till tears stream down my face. Now there will be one less.