Category Archives: Personal

My Job Was Eliminated

Leave a reply

I have been eliminated–not laid off with the hope of being rehired. No, I am an eliminated entity. That’s like erasing all the writing from a chalkboard with one sweep of an eraser. One minute there’s something there; the next minute it’s gone.

The thing is, one doesn’t know what to do with oneself when the alarm doesn’t go off. I remember all those mornings when that annoying alarm sounded and all I wanted to do was catch another 20 minutes of sleep. Now, for some reason, I don’t crave the sleep. I get up like always, but I have no place to go.

After several days of thinking and analyzing and speaking to my family, I have decided to move in with my daughter. We will be three generations in one house. That has spawned much discussion among my friends and acquaintances.

Many families, not just mine, are merging together out of necessity. I didn’t realize that while I was still employed, but it appears families are circling the wagons. They have run out of other choices.

In some instances, it is a good thing. My ophthalmologist has opened his doors once again to his son, and his nephew, too, is having a hard time finding another job. He is expecting to find him on his doorstep any day now, as well. However, he welcomes the opportunity to help both boys through this crisis and believes he will come to know each of them a little better because as he puts it, ” I only know the boys as they once were, not as the adults they have become.”

I think my decision to join my family will also be a good one, but I know there are many family situations that are not conducive to combining generations in one home.

I just had a discussion with a friend five minutes ago, while I was writing this post as a matter of fact, who is not looking forward to what the near future has in store for her. Her mother-in law and brother-in-law are preparing to move into her home. She is forced to give up space that she worked hard to create for herself and her husband over the years. That may not sound like much, but it’s huge. Furniture put into storage to make room for other furniture being moved in. Drapes to be hung in a sun room that will now be used as a bedroom, no longer a place of refuge. She views this turn of events as an end of her peace and comfort, something she craves when she comes home from work. The fact that she is forced to give all of this over to people she doesn’t particularly care for, but who she is obligated to help in their time of need, makes it all the more an enormous struggle. Yet, she will do it because she loves her husband.

I think depression will be the likely result for those who are forced to join together and make unwanted and unforeseen changes in their lives. What a pity. What to do? What to do?

New Orleans, Louisiana

1 Reply

french-quarter1

Most people think if you’re going to visit New Orleans, it should be during Mardi Gras.  That’s great, I admit. The parades are not to be missed and the craziness on the streets adds to the raucus, carefree atmosphere.

But there’s so much more to New Orleans: Bourbon Street, the French Market, the Garden District, eclectic shopping on Royal Street, the fantastic architecture throughout the City and the Riverboats on the Mississippi River. And there’s more, much more.

But for me, it’s all about the food and the music. I’ll never forget savoring the taste of my first beignet at the Cafe du Monde, or the taste sensation of gumbo at the Gumbo Shop in the French Quarter, or authentic cajun food found throughout the City.

And the music?

You can hear music everywhere, at any time, by day, or by night. If you want to experience music at its very best, make plans to attend the Jazz Fest, which is held in April each year. Tents and open-air stages abound with every imaginable type of music: jazz (of course), gospel, oldies, big band, zydeco, blues, country, bluegrass, dixieland, even latin jazz. If you can dream it up, you can probably find it at the New Orleans Jazz Fest. All live. All sensational–and the food at the fair? Every bit as savory as the music.

Ghosts, Candy & Hitting Up The Drunks

2 Replies

Back in the day, Halloween was sheer delight. No one worried about razors in apples, or the safety of the streets. Parents stayed at home and gave out candy. Kids went door to door showing off their costumes. (most homemade using a bit of ingenuity.)

Every year, after the trick or treating was over for the younger set, my mother circled around to the back of our house and returned through our front door dressed as a ghost, screeching and making sounds that I guess she figured a ghost might make. My father and I  always made quite a fuss until the ghost disappeared out through the back of the house again. A few minutes later, my mother would reappear, usually coming up from the basement steps. (Sheet stowed away for another year.)

We didn’t receive mini bars of candy, either. Full-size candy bars were the order of the day.

And nobody frowned about teenagers coming around for treats later in the evening. If people ran out of candy, they dropped nickels in the bags. Neighborhood stores stayed open and gave out great treats, and when I became one of those teenagers, my friends and I always stopped in at the local bar. We thought of it as “hitting up the drunks” (My mother would’ve passed out if she knew.) But the drunks handed out some A-#1 largesse. They’d take change off the bar, usually a lot more than a nickel, and drop it into our bags. They actually liked being included in the fun and asked about our costumes and laughed and joked with us.

Those were the days.

What Does Chewing Gum & A Mental Disorder Have In Common?

14 Replies

I guess I’m stuck in some frivolous time warp because this week I’m going to discuss chewing gum. Did you know that if you want to chew gum nowadays, most of the gum on the market contains aspartame? This applies to all chewing gums, not only sugar-free gum.

The reason I’ve singled out chewing gum is because if I chew gum that contains aspartame, my tongue develops small, painful cuts. After many months of wondering where these cuts were coming from, I finally realized it was the aspartame in the chewing gum. So, here’s the problem if you happen to like chewing gum. Try to find some that contain no aspartame–Chiclets and Big Red are the only ones I’ve found. That’s it!

Considering what aspartame does to my tongue, it got me thinking what it could be doing to one’s stomach.

This from a blog written by The Enlightened Homemaker

High intake of the artificial sweetener aspartame may lead to the degeneration of brain cells and various mental disorders, according to a research review conducted by South African scientists from the University of Pretoria and the University of Limpopo and published in the European Journal of Clinical Nutrition.

That is definitely a whole lot worse than my little bitty tongue problem. So, it’s time to rethink your thoughtless ingestion of aspartame. Cut back, or cut out entirely. Read the labels, even if the product is not low-cal, because my tongue problem pales in comparison to what could be happening.

There are many other scientific studies being conducted on aspartame. More than I care to list here. But in regards to chewing gum, perhaps Italian artist Maurizio Savini is making the best use of chewing gum. He sculpts with it.

chewing-gum-alligator.jpg

Things My Mother Told Me

2 Replies

My mother would say to me,”Don’t spray cologne on your neck.”

Here’s her rationale. The skin under your chin, the “front” of your neck, is thin, delicate skin. It is one of the first places where people show their age. Since the first ingredient in cologne is alcohol, this is NOT a good thing to spray on your neck year after year after year. Her advice–spritz a little to the “back” of your neck, your wrists and the inside of your elbows.

This was another of her favorites.  “Is there any reason why you have to look in the mirror at yourself while you brush your teeth?”

At the time, this seemed a little peevish to me, but I wasn’t the one cleaning off the tiny specks of dried toothpaste off the mirror. I am now. I don’t look into the mirror while brushing anymore.

Here’s another. “Always make sure you have money in your purse.”

Notice she didn’t say a “dime” (which way back when, that’s how much it cost to make a phone call in case of an emergency). She meant “real” money. To this day, I never leave the house with less than $10.00. And I have experienced my share of little emergencies when I was glad I had that money with me. Especially one night after midnight, when I got a flat tire and a good samaritan stopped and changed it for me. I forced that $10.00 on him, he didn’t want to take it, but I had it to give, and at 1:00 a.m. in the morning, I wished it could’ve been more.

She had some kooky ones, too. “Always make your bed in the morning.”

This had to do with one of her many “what if” scenarios. What if you went to work and there was a fire, (The firemen would see my unmade bed?) or what if you forgot something at home and had to send someone to your house to fetch it for you. (They would look through my house mainly to see if my bed was made?) Believe me, she had several more freaky reasons why my bed should me made, but I think she just liked the idea of a home that was always in order. This was her way of scaring me into being orderly.

Evidently, she was not alone with this last piece of motherly advice. I have friends whose mothers told them the same thing. “Always wear clean underwear.”

I will spare you the “what if” scenarios that go along with this one.

Many people recall insightful advice they’ve received from a parent. The young mother over at Verlanderville remembers an admonition from her mother.

Growing up, my mother told us that we were not allowed to use the word hate for things like vegetables, songs, people, etc.  She said that it was a very strong word and that we should only use it for things like sin, injustice, math, etc.

Clearly, dads can give good advice, too. See Mom & A Microphone

It was my 7-year-old’s first flag football game of the season. I was secretly dreading it, since my mother and father were always sitting on the sidelines at Griffin’s games, cheering him on. This year, Dad wouldn’t be there. Dad was Griffin’s biggest fan. Last season, when I expressed concern that I “wasn’t sure this was his strongest sport,” Dad told me, “be patient. He’ll get better with time.” And just like all the other advice my father has given me, he was right.

Makes you smile, doesn’t it?

Happiness Is A Walk In The Rain – Spontaneity

8 Replies

run-in-the-rain.jpg

image from

Last Saturday afternoon, as I was getting ready to walk home from my friend Bev’s house, the clouds shuddered and an unexpected shower of rain began pelting the windows. It sounded good to me. It sounded like bad timing to Bev.

Her immediate thoughts were: maybe I should wait until the rain stopped or slowed down, or I should, at least, borrow an umbrella, or…

But I was thinking, I couldn’t remember the last time I walked in the rain. So, I pooh, poohed the offer of an umbrella and ventured outside. It was a hot day. The rain felt cool. I noticed steam rising from the ground, as the earth drank its full. Huge drops of rain cascaded down from my head. There was no lightning, no thunder–a perfect day for a stroll. I looked up at the sky as I walked and drops of water splattered onto my face. By the time, I reached my front door, I was soaked to the skin. I stepped inside and dropped my clothes.

Spontaneity had surprised me and gifted me with a glorious, divine, magnificent interlude!

From the news stan(d)

Someone’s said that “spontaneity is the quality of being able to do something just because you feel like it at the moment, of trusting your instincts, of taking yourself by surprise…

You don’t think about being spontaneous, you just do it. It comes from within you to do what you like, how you like it and when you want it. It just happens – unplanned, unstructured and best of all, unexpected but still within your power to shape it.

The Cook Family seems to know how to be spontaneous.

The other day Dan got home from work just in time to catch the sun going down . The second he came through the door he said, “grab a blanket, we’re going on the roof.”

This idea tickled me – Manufactured Spontaneity

At Flax, the art supply store, you can buy a notebook with napkins instead of pages. Because so many great ideas started on a napkin. So. You should be ready with some napkins.

Spontaneity–it comes in all sizes.

What about you? Spontaneous or Well Planned Agenda?

Write a Memoir-Share a Memory

1 Reply

Every once in a while, I feel the necessity to encourage people to write and record a memory or two. I often suggest this to friends and I receive a variety of responses:
“I’m not a writer.”
“Nothing interesting has happened in my life.”
“No one would be interested in reading anything I could write.”
“I’m uncomfortable revealing incidents from my life.”
“I don’t have the time.”
“I wouldn’t know what to write about.”

I have answers for each of the above. If you know how to talk, you know how to write. Everyone has something interesting and insightful to document for family members to read sometime in the future. And it doesn’t have to be anything too personal. As to having time–if you have time to read or watch television, you can steal a half hour to write. And what to write? Write about anything you think your children or grandchildren might like to know about you. For instance:
Where did you meet your spouse?
When was your first kiss? With who?
What were your parents like?
Tell about your favorite vacation.
What country would you visit if you could?

 Remembering is a good thing. I’m not the only one who thinks so.

This from an article in O Magazine 

Writing memoir is a way to figure out who you used to be and how you got to be who you are.

From Barefoottech in Australia

“When my Father was dying of cancer he started to write about his life. I longed for him to be able to record all of his experiences. Sadly, he only wrote a fraction of it, but I treasure to this day the bit he did accomplish. However, there is so much I wish I could ask, and can’t. Now I’m older I want to know more.”

Whatever memories or knowledge you may have, write them down. Her grandfather was a brilliant gardener, but unfortunately none of his tips were passed on.

In the July/August issue of the AARP magazine, there is an excellent article about memoirs, Everyone Has a Story to Tell. I agree.

Is there any reason why you can’t go out and buy a notebook? If it’s sitting on a table or a desk, maybe you’ll be moved to write something in it.

Remembering George Carlin

2 Replies

I loved George Carlin. Even when I didn’t agree with what he was saying, he could make me double over and laugh my head off. A lot of things he pointed out tickled my funny bone.

Politics especially got his juices flowing. Some of his famous political one liners include:

“In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem.”

“Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.”

And this silly one – “George Washington brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country.”

But George had a much more serious side when it came to politics and government. On lobbyists from The Nation

“The real owners are the big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions. Forget the politicians, they’re an irrelevancy. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. You don’t. You have no choice. You have owners. They own you. They own everything. They own all the important land. They own and control the corporations. They’ve long since bought and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the statehouses, the city halls. They’ve got the judges in their back pockets. And they own all the big media companies, so that they control just about all of the news and information you hear. They’ve got you by the balls. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying – lobbying to get what they want. Well, we know what they want; they want more for themselves and less for everybody else,” ranted the comedian whose routines were studied in graduate schools.

On Obama from salon.com

And I’m very excited, for the sake of itself, for this Obama story. It’s very wonderful to watch and to follow and to read, because it is so different from what America has allowed itself to do. And I don’t know that it goes anywhere, and I’m not investing in it, but I do enjoy witnessing it. I think it’s a very exciting story.

Asked about the right and the left in comedy–A.V.Club

Do you think it’s possible to be truly funny from a position of power? For instance, Dennis Miller, who’s always been a smart, funny comedian, has undergone a political conversion over the past decade, and now his comedy is rooted in his support of the Bush administration. And he seems less funny.GC:

For some reason, there aren’t as many right-wing comedians as there are left or center or non-political. I read something about this recently that made sense, and I’ve forgotten what it said, of course. I have great respect for Dennis Miller’s mind and ability as a comedian, but I agree that I am not as personally entertained by his new material, which you describe as “coming from a position of power.” Of course, he always did come from a position of presumed superiority, and I don’t necessarily say that pejoratively. He did come from what appeared to be a smartass, superior platform. That’s part of what made him work as a stand-up.

As an all around comedian, George is up there with the greats. Local 6.com reports that Carlin will be awarded the Mark Twain Comedy Prize this November.

 The John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts said that Carlin will be honored for his 50-year career as a Grammy-winning standup comedian, writer and actor.

The chairman of the Kennedy Center, Stephen Schwarzman, complimented Carlin as a comedian who can make people laugh and also make them think.

In reading the various articles that have been written about George since his death, I was surprised that the last vote he cast was for George McGovern. He never voted again after that election. I suppose he didn’t think one vote counted for much. That’s a pity. I consider my vote one of the greatest freedoms America offers. Even on my most cynical days, I am grateful for it.

I will miss George. Not too many people have the ability to make me laugh till tears stream down my face. Now there will be one less.

Things I Hate

1 Reply

Since I wrote all about things that I love last week, it seems only fair that I write about a few things I hated in the 80’s and still hate in 2008. As in my previous post, some of the things on my old list are outdated. For instance, back then I hated “window envelopes.” I don’t have a problem with them anymore because I pay the majority of my bills online. I also didn’t like to “clean the oven,” and thank goodness that has changed. I have a self-cleaning oven.

Following are still problem areas–things that I hate:

Toilet paper installed backward on the dispenser
Stupid TV commercials
Guests that arrive late for a sit-down dinner
Any kind of cruelty or abuse
Mixing ground beef with my hands (yuk!)
Golf (Sorry, golfers, but I just don’t get it.)
Hate when my feet are cold
Polkas
Advertising cards stuck inside a magazine
Bugs, mice and snakes

Well, that’s it for me. If you need to vent, send me your list.