Doesn’t that sound delicious–veggie cheese and skim milk?

My daughter keeps telling me I should lose weight. (I know that without her constantly mentioning it to me in “not so subtle” ways.) The thing is, I don’t want to eat food that doesn’t taste good. C’mon–veggie cheese?

Well, okay, I have tried those Sargento sticks of cheese. They’re not too atrocious. And I’ve even given Laughing Cow spreadable cheeses a whirl, but to tell you the truth, I’m not laughing.

And don’t get me started on skim milk. Why even drink it–it’s colored water–so why not just drink water?

I’ve heard all the bugabaloo hype to get more exercise, change my eating habits and wolf down those vegetables. Yesterday the doctor actually told me I shouldn’t be having my glass of orange juice in the morning because it’s 91% carbohydrates. I’m not kidding. Nothing is sacred. Even orange juice is taboo.

I’m getting tired of seeing photos of women who look emaciated and being brainwashed into believing that they are visions of beauty. Marilyn Monroe’s body was beautiful. And she didn’t look like she was wasting away. Why are women so eager to believe the propaganda that they have to be skinny like models in order to be beautiful?

I’ll tell you why. Because they’re being told it’s healthy and if it’s healthy, it must be good. So, if you’re buying into the skinny-minnie theory, keep drinking that “milk” and eating that other product that is laughingly marked “cheese.”

I’m going to grill my steak now. It’s not a vegetable, but I promise to eat in moderation. That’s my key word “moderation.”